So it's been two months tomorrow since the break-up. I've been ok I guess. I've been feeling how you're supposed to feel after a break-up - been out with my friends and slowly but surely getting over it, getting over the heartbreak and the betrayal...
But what are you supposed to do when you're ex-boyfriend/girlfriend moves on? I have no idea. At university, I haven't been going out to the on-site university club in case I bump into him. I mean, the last time that happened, I threw a drink over him so I've been trying to avoid him in case I do that again... Oops. Not just that, but I didn't want to see him with another girl.
Today, I decided to go out. It's my last proper week at university with my flatmates and we wanted to celebrate it with our last night out together. Didn't really go well, I might add.
As soon as I walked through the doors to the club, one of my friends decided to pull me over and tell me that my ex had moved on to another girl who was on his course. I got instantly upset. I ran over to my two best friends and told them. After telling them, I ran outside to get some fresh air and to try and calm down. It didn't work.
My two best friends followed me out and told me that this girl who he had apparently moved on to, wasn't the right girl, my other friend has said the wrong one. They explained to me that they had spoke to my ex last week and got out of him that he was interested in a completely different girl on his course. They were friends, but he was interested. So he isn't actually with her.
Still... The thought of him even being interested in someone else is devastating. The whole reason he broke up with me was because he wasn't ready for a relationship right now and he wanted to concentrate on himself. What a load of bullshit that is if he gets with this other girl on his course. How can he tell me that he's not ready for a relationship but then be interested in someone else only two months later? I know that you can't help it if you like someone, but if he acts on it, if he gets with her, then it's going to be completely against the reasons of why he broke up with me.
I tried to get over it tonight, I really did try. I saw him on the dance floor so I went up to him and said "look, if you're interested in someone else, that's completely fine. I'm happy for you and you have a right to move on, you have my blessing." I gave him a smile and walked away.
1) I'm not happy at all. I'm pretty much dead inside as I write this
2) Jesus Christ, that was a bit quick wasn't it? Two months? I always knew he would move on quick from me, he always does move on quick when a relationship of his ends.
3) HE DOES NOT HAVE MY BLESSING
I know I sound like a completely psycho and a control freak but hey? What do you expect when your ex of two years moves on after two months? I have no idea how I'm supposed to feel or act or what to say.
Nevertheless, I think it's safe to say that I won't be going out as much any more. I don't want to see him, speak to him or have anything to do with him. Not because I'm a huge bitch, but because I'm hurting too much. I was getting better. I was slowly feeling better about myself, but tonight I've taken a billion steps back. If I see him, all it would do is ruin me. And I can't let myself go back to feeling like that again.
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